I am convinced that dogs understand a considerable amount of human language. “Heel,” “stop,” “lay down” and other common commands are some we readily know are a part of a dog’s vocabulary. Having experimented in my own home with dogs belonging to She Who Must be Obeyed, I am constantly amazed just how extensive their language potential and abilities are. I have to work with her dogs because I have none of my own. I would have one good dog if the decision was mine but she prefers a pack of mutts. She has three Chihuahuas which had no home, a Boxer/Lab mix that needed a home and no one else wanted her, and a Beagle/Blue Healer mix rescued from a dog rescue place.
Two of these dogs came from Second Chance in Norman and another from a similar organization in Yukon. Another Chihuahua came from a man who was on his way to Second Chance to drop her off and the final came from one of her friends who had a dog with a litter of ten pups and no one wanted them. “Hell,” I said, “I don’t want her either.” But there was never a question as to whether my wants were of any concern; it was just a statement and rationale as to why she had to bring the thing home with her. All these canines have a few things in common, they are her dogs and they are some of the most stupid dogs as a group I have ever seen. And they don’t like me. Even though I am the one who feeds them and makes sure they have water. Even though I am the one who walks them when they are walked, play with them when they are played with, and train them to be respectable citizens.
These are the dogs which have demonstrated to me that they have a certain level of human vocabulary and mastery of at least a minimal level of human communication. For example, I have noticed they understand profanity. I can say, “Come here you precious little darlings,” or some such syrupy language in an endearing tone and they have no respect for me at all. Or I can unleash a level of profanity that would remove barnacles from a battleship and that gets their attention. They don’t understand “please” and “thank you” but they seem to have a high level of comprehension when I burn their little ears with a string of profanity which would make Mark Twain proud. (She Who Must be Obeyed isn’t around when I teach them this noble language nor has she ever read anything I have ever written.)
I finally have them (the Chihuahuas) trained to the point that they will go to their room (the utility room where their bed is kept) by saying in a specific tone, “Go to your room.” Anything other than that phrase and they are at a loss where to go or what to do. I believe they could be eating a T-bone steak and if I uttered those words in that particular tone they would leave it alone and go to their room. Perhaps not Precious, but the others would. She’s the little rotund one that animal lovers would probably accuse us of abuse for allowing her to get so fat.
I have to say “Go to bed” for the Lab/Boxer mix, Cupcake, a name given by my then seven year old daughter, to go to the same room. The Beagle mix, Snoopy, won’t respond to anything. She is pretty good about running to the car when we drive up to see if there is anything we have with us which she can eat. But that’s about the limit of her intelligence. She used to go out and try to fight coyotes but she’s getting a little old for that. She barks more than the other four put together and if she sees someone walking on a nice day she will bark at them. If they are walking their dog she will give it a whipping for them. I can yell at her at the top of my voice and she’ll not respond. So when I see someone coming our way, I usually have to open the door and have her come inside while they go by.
Another expression all of them seem to have familiarized themselves with is the word that indicates they are going out to the back yard. I yell, “Outside,” putting the emphasis on the first syllable and they all run to and out the back door. All, that is, except Precious if she’s still chewing on that T-bone. After they have been out for a while I can say,” Let’s go!” and they will come back to the door. If She Who Must be Obeyed is outside with them they may or may not come back inside. Precious is just as likely to run across the street and down to the neighbor’s house at which time she will have to go retrieve her and I listen carefully to learn new words I had never even heard in legal circles. Lawyers are too delicate to say some of the things she says at that time even though, compared to me, she is something of an amateur using such language and sounds silly.
I have concluded that these dogs, as stupid as they are, have a somewhat limited vocabulary of human words. I am still observing the cat. I think he knows more human language than he lets on. In fact, I have learned to read his mind and that seems to be the extent of our communication. I will give him a command and he will look up at me and telepathically say, “Who the hell do you think you are. The Egyptians worshipped my forbears as a god; yours were nothing but worthless slaves lifting those large stones in building the pyramids.” Because of his total disdain for me and my kind, I don’t try to teach him much. We’re both happier that way.
I will continue to research and report. But for now, suffice it to say that dogs understand something of what you say. They have a limited vocabulary of human words. So be careful of your speech. I don’t yet know what they are doing with the information.
Two of these dogs came from Second Chance in Norman and another from a similar organization in Yukon. Another Chihuahua came from a man who was on his way to Second Chance to drop her off and the final came from one of her friends who had a dog with a litter of ten pups and no one wanted them. “Hell,” I said, “I don’t want her either.” But there was never a question as to whether my wants were of any concern; it was just a statement and rationale as to why she had to bring the thing home with her. All these canines have a few things in common, they are her dogs and they are some of the most stupid dogs as a group I have ever seen. And they don’t like me. Even though I am the one who feeds them and makes sure they have water. Even though I am the one who walks them when they are walked, play with them when they are played with, and train them to be respectable citizens.
These are the dogs which have demonstrated to me that they have a certain level of human vocabulary and mastery of at least a minimal level of human communication. For example, I have noticed they understand profanity. I can say, “Come here you precious little darlings,” or some such syrupy language in an endearing tone and they have no respect for me at all. Or I can unleash a level of profanity that would remove barnacles from a battleship and that gets their attention. They don’t understand “please” and “thank you” but they seem to have a high level of comprehension when I burn their little ears with a string of profanity which would make Mark Twain proud. (She Who Must be Obeyed isn’t around when I teach them this noble language nor has she ever read anything I have ever written.)
I finally have them (the Chihuahuas) trained to the point that they will go to their room (the utility room where their bed is kept) by saying in a specific tone, “Go to your room.” Anything other than that phrase and they are at a loss where to go or what to do. I believe they could be eating a T-bone steak and if I uttered those words in that particular tone they would leave it alone and go to their room. Perhaps not Precious, but the others would. She’s the little rotund one that animal lovers would probably accuse us of abuse for allowing her to get so fat.
I have to say “Go to bed” for the Lab/Boxer mix, Cupcake, a name given by my then seven year old daughter, to go to the same room. The Beagle mix, Snoopy, won’t respond to anything. She is pretty good about running to the car when we drive up to see if there is anything we have with us which she can eat. But that’s about the limit of her intelligence. She used to go out and try to fight coyotes but she’s getting a little old for that. She barks more than the other four put together and if she sees someone walking on a nice day she will bark at them. If they are walking their dog she will give it a whipping for them. I can yell at her at the top of my voice and she’ll not respond. So when I see someone coming our way, I usually have to open the door and have her come inside while they go by.
Another expression all of them seem to have familiarized themselves with is the word that indicates they are going out to the back yard. I yell, “Outside,” putting the emphasis on the first syllable and they all run to and out the back door. All, that is, except Precious if she’s still chewing on that T-bone. After they have been out for a while I can say,” Let’s go!” and they will come back to the door. If She Who Must be Obeyed is outside with them they may or may not come back inside. Precious is just as likely to run across the street and down to the neighbor’s house at which time she will have to go retrieve her and I listen carefully to learn new words I had never even heard in legal circles. Lawyers are too delicate to say some of the things she says at that time even though, compared to me, she is something of an amateur using such language and sounds silly.
I have concluded that these dogs, as stupid as they are, have a somewhat limited vocabulary of human words. I am still observing the cat. I think he knows more human language than he lets on. In fact, I have learned to read his mind and that seems to be the extent of our communication. I will give him a command and he will look up at me and telepathically say, “Who the hell do you think you are. The Egyptians worshipped my forbears as a god; yours were nothing but worthless slaves lifting those large stones in building the pyramids.” Because of his total disdain for me and my kind, I don’t try to teach him much. We’re both happier that way.
I will continue to research and report. But for now, suffice it to say that dogs understand something of what you say. They have a limited vocabulary of human words. So be careful of your speech. I don’t yet know what they are doing with the information.
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